Thursday, January 7, 2016

Hannah and the No Good, Very Bad, Start to 2016

Do you ever have one of those days, or weeks, where nothing big goes wrong but nothing seems to go right?

You snooze your alarm one too many times so you miss breakfast, you hit traffic on the way to work so you're late, you can't get a word in edge wise at a meeting even though you have a good idea, you're computer at work is slower than usual, you forget your lunch so you have to eat the three emergency granola bars you have in your desk, you spill water all over your shoes and pants, you forget your shoes for the gym, you go to make dinner only to find your potatoes you bought 5 days ago have sprouted, you're car has a recall and is acting funny, the wifi has been our in your apartment for almost a month, you drop your phone off the machine at the gym and the screen cracks.

That was my week as of Wednesday and that was how I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the parking lot of Planet Fitness.  It was just a pair of shoes, they don't really matter.  Any other day I would have just gone home, gotten the shoes and gone back but yesterday it felt like the end of the God damn world because it was just one thing after another.  I sat in that parking lot, listening to Adele and crying for almost 45 minutes and when I left I felt a little better until I got home and the damn potatoes had sprouted.

I don't think I'm a particularly pessimistic person, I'm more of a realist, but I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel after last night.  I went in to 2016 so excited.  I was ready to kick ass and take names and just rock the year out and there I was, only 6 days in and I felt like the world was ending.  When I got home I did the only thing I could think of, I sat on my couch and ate ice cream right out of the carton and listened to my 'Sad Songs' playlist on Spotify, It wasn't my greatest moment.

I feel like I should add here that I gave up coffee for the month of January and anyone who knows me at all knows that coffee is basically the blood of life for me so I'm like 90% sure that I was in caffeine withdraw on top of all of this other shit.  So last night I went to bed feeling totally and utterly defeated, my head pounding and feeling like I had lived a month in three days.

But something weird happened when I woke up this morning, I woke up before my 6:50 alarm.  When I got out of my bed the apartment didn't feel like the inside of a refrigerator and with a glance out my widow I discovered that my car wasn't covered in frost.  I managed to find an outfit for work without having to go through my hamper, my hair cooperated with me when I put it up into my standard bun(it's not really standard anymore since it's just recently long enough to go into a bun again but whatever, it's my blog I can say what I want), I thought I was out of tooth paste but it turns out I had enough for this morning.

I dropped my car off at the Ford dealership and there wasn't a line, I got into work and my computer started up without any problems, I had coffee (IT'S MY LIFE I DO WHAT I WANT OK?). I remembered my lunch and it was SO GOOD. Today as been a good day (so far, oh my god I jinxed myself didn't I?)

But here's the point of this entire post, I might have just come up with it at this very moment but who cares, I'm in a good mood and I do as I damn well please.  The point is, sometimes things suck and you just need to cry and let yourself wallow in self pity.  You need to call your best friend and just cry, you need to eat ice cream for dinner and wrap yourself in your favorite blanket.  That's okay.  It's okay to have a bad week and let yourself reach that low as long as you don't stay there.

When I went to sleep last night (at 10:15 which should have been a sign that today would be way better than yesterday) I told myself that everything would feel better in the morning, everything looks better after a good nights sleep (that sage advice is not mine, I won't take credit, that came from the wonderful Doug Burry when I was in the 8th grade)

And I should have learned by now to never doubt that advice since today I woke up and I felt good.  It's a new day, it's one week into the year and the week from hell had to end eventually, so why not today?

It's okay to wallow in self pity and be sad as long as you don't stay there.  I'm not staying there, and even if Ford needs to keep my car for the weekend I'll be alright since I had my meltdown already, I got it out of my system.  Today is a new day and goddamn it I'm making it a good one.

January 7th 2016 marks the end of the No Good, Very Bad Week.  (I HOPE) (( OMG DID I JINX IT? ))

Shout out to the following people who had to deal with me while I was wallowing/in the worst mood ever (this is in no particular order): Katie, Kelsey, Mom, Celly J Baby, Katie (again since seriously she got the brunt of it, poor roommate), Dana, every single one of my coworkers, myself (since I was pretty hard on me).

Here's to a better week 2 of 2016.

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