Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Surviving Snow In South Carolina

As someone who grew up in Cleveland, Ohio and went to college in Buffalo, New York I've learned how to handle myself in the snow.  I drove a rear wheel drive SUV through the snowy streets of Buffalo for two winters, my first car was a boat of an Olds Mobile that did not handle the snow like a dream, I know how to deal with snow.

One time I was driving on the thruway at 2 a.m. coming home from work in the middle of some pretty serious snow and I managed to hit a patch of black ice, spin out and regain control of my car all within about 6 seconds (though I will admit it felt like time slowed down and I considered singing 'Jesus take the wheel').

 So when I got a text at 9 on Thursday night of last week telling me the office was closed because there was going to be snow I spent a solid 5 minutes laughing and then looked out the window to see it hasn't started snowing yet.  Now as previously mentioned, I'm from the great northern part of our fine country so I know that sometimes snow doesn't start until late at night and can accumulate quickly.

When I woke up on Friday morning there was maybe an inch of snow on the ground, MAYBE. I promptly laughed until I cried and went to Walmart to see if they had sold out of bread and milk.  (Side note: Why do people buy milk before impending weather disasters? There's a change you'll lose power and it'll just go bad.)

Walmart was running with a staff of maybe 5 people, no deli, no bakery, no pharmacy, one open checkout lane.

The best part of this entire experience was that the main roads were salted and plowed by the time I left my house around 8:45 in the morning.  It stopped snowing by like noon and it was just raining.  I will admit that's when the roads got dangerous since it froze over and then it was icy as hell but still.

So that was my first 'winter' experience down south.  They close basically everything if there's going to be even a flurry, you watch out for ice because that's what you'll actually find, two days later it'll be 60 degrees.

Oh yeah.  It's was 60 degrees yesterday.

Winter in the south from a northern perspective.  It's funny to watch, but get's super boring.  You're welcome for this blog, it was pointless, but probably a little funny for all my northern brethren.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Hannah and the No Good, Very Bad, Start to 2016

Do you ever have one of those days, or weeks, where nothing big goes wrong but nothing seems to go right?

You snooze your alarm one too many times so you miss breakfast, you hit traffic on the way to work so you're late, you can't get a word in edge wise at a meeting even though you have a good idea, you're computer at work is slower than usual, you forget your lunch so you have to eat the three emergency granola bars you have in your desk, you spill water all over your shoes and pants, you forget your shoes for the gym, you go to make dinner only to find your potatoes you bought 5 days ago have sprouted, you're car has a recall and is acting funny, the wifi has been our in your apartment for almost a month, you drop your phone off the machine at the gym and the screen cracks.

That was my week as of Wednesday and that was how I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the parking lot of Planet Fitness.  It was just a pair of shoes, they don't really matter.  Any other day I would have just gone home, gotten the shoes and gone back but yesterday it felt like the end of the God damn world because it was just one thing after another.  I sat in that parking lot, listening to Adele and crying for almost 45 minutes and when I left I felt a little better until I got home and the damn potatoes had sprouted.

I don't think I'm a particularly pessimistic person, I'm more of a realist, but I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel after last night.  I went in to 2016 so excited.  I was ready to kick ass and take names and just rock the year out and there I was, only 6 days in and I felt like the world was ending.  When I got home I did the only thing I could think of, I sat on my couch and ate ice cream right out of the carton and listened to my 'Sad Songs' playlist on Spotify, It wasn't my greatest moment.

I feel like I should add here that I gave up coffee for the month of January and anyone who knows me at all knows that coffee is basically the blood of life for me so I'm like 90% sure that I was in caffeine withdraw on top of all of this other shit.  So last night I went to bed feeling totally and utterly defeated, my head pounding and feeling like I had lived a month in three days.

But something weird happened when I woke up this morning, I woke up before my 6:50 alarm.  When I got out of my bed the apartment didn't feel like the inside of a refrigerator and with a glance out my widow I discovered that my car wasn't covered in frost.  I managed to find an outfit for work without having to go through my hamper, my hair cooperated with me when I put it up into my standard bun(it's not really standard anymore since it's just recently long enough to go into a bun again but whatever, it's my blog I can say what I want), I thought I was out of tooth paste but it turns out I had enough for this morning.

I dropped my car off at the Ford dealership and there wasn't a line, I got into work and my computer started up without any problems, I had coffee (IT'S MY LIFE I DO WHAT I WANT OK?). I remembered my lunch and it was SO GOOD. Today as been a good day (so far, oh my god I jinxed myself didn't I?)

But here's the point of this entire post, I might have just come up with it at this very moment but who cares, I'm in a good mood and I do as I damn well please.  The point is, sometimes things suck and you just need to cry and let yourself wallow in self pity.  You need to call your best friend and just cry, you need to eat ice cream for dinner and wrap yourself in your favorite blanket.  That's okay.  It's okay to have a bad week and let yourself reach that low as long as you don't stay there.

When I went to sleep last night (at 10:15 which should have been a sign that today would be way better than yesterday) I told myself that everything would feel better in the morning, everything looks better after a good nights sleep (that sage advice is not mine, I won't take credit, that came from the wonderful Doug Burry when I was in the 8th grade)

And I should have learned by now to never doubt that advice since today I woke up and I felt good.  It's a new day, it's one week into the year and the week from hell had to end eventually, so why not today?

It's okay to wallow in self pity and be sad as long as you don't stay there.  I'm not staying there, and even if Ford needs to keep my car for the weekend I'll be alright since I had my meltdown already, I got it out of my system.  Today is a new day and goddamn it I'm making it a good one.

January 7th 2016 marks the end of the No Good, Very Bad Week.  (I HOPE) (( OMG DID I JINX IT? ))

Shout out to the following people who had to deal with me while I was wallowing/in the worst mood ever (this is in no particular order): Katie, Kelsey, Mom, Celly J Baby, Katie (again since seriously she got the brunt of it, poor roommate), Dana, every single one of my coworkers, myself (since I was pretty hard on me).

Here's to a better week 2 of 2016.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Be Resolute, Don't Make Resolutions

Resolute - admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

Resolution - a firm decision to do or not to do something.

First and foremost, I'd like to wish all my readers (do I have readers anymore? It's been awhile since I've been able to post since I was sans wifi - technically I still am without it at my apartment, but hey, what are lunch breaks for if not for writing?) a happy new year.  It's frightening to think that we're only four short years from 2020. 

I have long since abandoned the idea of making a 'New Years Resolution' because inevitably by May I've completely forgotten about it and then when the new year rolls around again I'm disappointed in myself.  I've decided that I won't be making any new years resolutions for 2016, instead I am going to make life changes in my 23rd year, or is it my 24th year since for the first year of like you're not really a year old but you're in the first year of life.  I'm rambling, let me get back on topic. 

Here are 13 things that I'm going to be doing in my 23rd (24th?) year on earth.  These changes have been thought out, these things I am not changing are things I admire about my life, and they are not changed because it's a new year, but because Blink 182 tells me that no one likes you when you're 23 and I figure that as long as I like myself that doesn't matter. 

13 things for 23
I'm putting all this out on the internet because if I do, there's a much better chance of me holding myself accountable. 

1. Join a gym 
2. Actually go to said gym because I'm paying real money for that membership and I'll be damned if I waste any money on my current income.
3. Drink less beer (and vodka, and wine and really any alcoholic beverages) 
4. Drink more water.  There's this great app called Plant Nanny that my personal Yoda, Dana, told me about and it's great for keeping me on task with drinking water. 
5. Put down my mother-bleeping phone and look around. I mean it this time, I've been trying, really trying.
6. Go to sleep at a reasonable hour.  This means being asleep midnight on weeknights Burry.
7. Don't beat myself up when I slip up.
8. LET GO. The past is passed and it's about damn time that I start leaving it there. 
9. When opportunities present themselves, take them, don't just sit in my super comfy bed and let things pass me by.
10. Fight for what I believe in, not that I don't do this now, but I just want to keep it up since that seems to be one of the few things that has remained constant in my life.  
11. Read more. The lack of wifi has really pushed that on me, but I'm so glad since somehow I forgot how much I love reading.  That should never be forgotten.  Reading is the best. You heard it here first folks, reading rocks. 
12.  When I'm mad take ten seconds and breathe before responding, let it settle, really listen to what was said before responding.  Remember that sometimes responding isn't necessary. 
13. Keep it up.  I have truly fallen in love with myself in the last year and I want that to keep happening, I want to keep loving myself the way I did when I was 22. 

So there it is.  I won't call that a list of resolutions, even if that's what it might seem like.  That's a list of things that I am holding myself accountable to.  I'm going to make 23 my best year, even if no one likes you when you're 23. 

Here's the thing, being 23 makes me feel like an official adult.  My roommate and I had a talk about what makes people not like you when you're 23 and we came up with a pretty decent theory.  

When you're 22 you're still a kid in your own eyes, in the eyes of most of your peers and in the eyes of adults.  You're probably just finishing up college and starting out on your own.  You still have that safety net of adolescence.  22 tastes like freedom, but you know that it's not really that yet.  It's a weekend at home with home cooked meals and a weekend away with too much alcohol and fun. 

When you're 23 you're probably out in the real world, or trying to be, you've moved out on your own, you're responsible for your own well being for the first time ever since there's no dining hall or dad to make your meals.  23 tastes like pinching penny's and wishing you hadn't spent ten dollars on drinks while you were in college. 23 is the first cold gust of reality, of life without that comfortable safety net.  It's also the cold gust of wind that chills you to the bone and you know you won't be warm again for awhile since you can't afford to turn the heat up over 61.

So here's why no one likes you when you're 23:  All the kids (I'm talking 22 and under here for the most part) don't see you as one of them anymore, you're an adult in the real world doing real world things and you're not a part of their club anymore.  All the adults (Let's say 25 and up here) don't think of you as one of them yet, you're still a kid in their eyes even though to the kids you're an adult.  No one likes you when you're 23 because you're in the no man's land between adolescence and adulthood, no one knows where to place you so they just discount you.

Well, I feel like I just spewed so much at you, so I'll leave it here for today.  Hopefully I'll have wifi again by next week and I can post regularly again (okay, so it was never regular) So maybe just more frequently.

Happy New Year, make it a good one.