I'd like to say that I've been away from this blog for so long because I've been busy or because I've been saving puppies or something interesting, but the reality, like most realities, is much more boring than that. I've been doing more of the same down here in South Carolina. I wasn't effected by the flooding, I haven't really done anything new or exciting.
I was driving to work today when a thought crossed my mind. In movies you never really see the characters driving to work, you don't often see them sitting at a desk working, in movies and TV shows you see the action, you don't see the dullness that can be real life. I was stopped at a red light and I looked up and was taken aback by the beauty that is the changing of the seasons.
If my life were a movie I would have had a voice over in that moment that went something like this, 'It's weird, this is the twenty second autumn that I've live through, the twenty second time that I've seen the leaves fall and every year I'm surprised by how perfect it looks. We live lives that don't always allow us time to stop and look at the oranges and the reds, the yellows and browns of the fall, but I want to live a life where I remember to look.'
Cheesy, yes. But how the hell did I miss the leaves starting to change? Fall is my all time favorite time of year, I love waking up to the chilly mornings, wrapping myself in a blanket and drinking hot tea. I love apples and hiking through a multicolored forest, I love what fall stands for, shedding old things before new life can start. How have I been so wrapped up in the daily monotony of my life that I forgot to look up from the road and just look.
Don't get me wrong, a few weeks ago I drove up a damn mountain to go to an apple orchard and it was breath taking but it was an hour a away and I made the effort to get into the mountain air because, to quote Jane Austin, "What are men to rocks and mountains?" I forgot to look around me in my normal life, to be even more cliche than ever, I forgot to stop and smell the roses (not that I would smell any flower, I think that cut flowers smell life death and no one can change my mind on that).
I'm going to try to be less distracted by work. I'm going to stop and just breathe in this perfect season because so many people exist without really living and I don't ever want to be that person. I want people to listen to my stories and be inspired to live. I won't ever climb Everest, I probably won't ever swim with sharks or live off the grid. My life won't be the stuff of legend, but it will be something worth living.
I don't want to look back in 5 autumns and realize I forgot to look at the changing seasons again. I won't make that mistake twice.